Blurgh

I've been a little bit out of the world of sports since the NBA Finals ended (partly because there haven't been any sports on tv [unless you count baseball {which I don't}]). But mainly because both the NHL and the NBA Playoffs left me feeling empty and cold inside. 

In hockey, I was forced to witness: Marty Brodeur looking all-too human against Eric Staal and the Hurricanes; my beloved Canucks collapsing against a young and only-getting-better Chicago team; Ovechkin and the rest of his dope-ass teammates getting edged by their arch-rivals, the RuPaul and Elton John of the NHL; and finally I had to (not watch because I stopped doing that after the Nucks lost, but hear) that Cindy Crosby got to take home Lord Stanley. 

In the NBA, even though the Lakers won the Larry O'Brien trophy, the playoffs followed roughly the same story arc as the movie The Hangover. Meaning, the good stuff all happened way too early and the laughs dried up towards the end (interchange laughs with suspense if you want to go back to talking about basketball). Early on things were interesting... the Cavs were absolutely rolling, the Celts and the Bulls were having one of the top-3 first-round series of all time and the Lakers were looking dominant during stretches but were plagued with the inconsistent focus they had failed to deal with all season long. 

Things climaxed when the Lakers managed to squeak their way past the Yao-less Rockets and began to play their best basketball of the season against the suddenly hot as a flippin' curry Denver Nuggets; the Magic overcame the defending champs behind a truly super(hu)man effort from Dwight Howard and we saw LeBron doing the impossible to keep his team in tight with the Magic.

Then there were the Finals, when it seemed like the only time things were close was when the Lakers took long stretches of play off to try to give the Magic a fighting chance (it didn't help). Kobe and Phil got their rings but it doesn't even feel legitimate with a final as anti-climactic as Seinfeld's. Hopefully next year we'll have the 7 game showdown between the Cavs and the Lakers that we had been expecting since this pre-season (Just so you know, my call is Kobe swishes a left-handed fade-away three over a triple team in double OT to win it).

So, I ignored sports for a few weeks, but the draft and some trades have forced me to pay attention again.

The Draft

When I say the draft "forced me to pay attention" I don't mean that this particular draft actually attracted my attention in any way whatsoever. The only exciting thing about it was that it is "the Draft" and is probably, almost undoubtedly, the least interesting draft to ever happen since I started following basketball.

Let me summarize: The only player in this class who is supposed to be a surefire success is plucked by the least likeable franchise in all of sports, a franchise that already has Marcus Camby, Chris Kaman and Zach Randolph to clog up the paint... a franchise that is owned and run (respectively) by these two clowns. As if that wasn't enough, the Grizzlies then decide to follow up by going for a player who's only positive attribute is his height - 7'3". Sure, that is a hell of a lot of attribute, but the guy can't play basketball. He gets blocks but anybody his size with the ability to raise his arms above his head would be able to do the same. This guy is destined to be remembered as the ebony to Bryant Reeve's ivory - anorexic black dude vs. ginormous whale of a white dude. Next, Oklahoma got James Harden, which was fine. But then the Kings fucked everything up. They picked Tyreke Evans over Ricky Rubio. A player I had never previously heard of over the one player I was honestly excited about in this draft class. And now, thanks to what I can only assume was some kind of decision passed down from the mentally handicapped Maloof brothers, Rubio might stay in Spain for a couple years. The Wolves picked him along with what I have to assume was half the other PG's in the draft and now nobody know what the fuck is going on. As a final "fuck you", Dejuan Blair who was statistically one of the top 2 or 3 players in college basketball players this year (and one of maybe 2 or 3 that Steve has heard of) fell to the Spurs.

All of the above made me want to cut my wrists, so I'll save trade discussion for later.