carolina completes comeback, bettman creams pants

The Hurricanes scored 2 goals in the last 80 seconds, and beat the Devils 4-3, setting up the NHL's dream matchup: Pens vs. Caps. Malkin vs Ovechkin. Crosby vs Semin (insert joke here). Across the board, we're blessed again with amazing matchups. Get pumped for Thursday.

Bruins over Canes in 6

Pens over Capitals in 7

Detroit over Anaheim in 7

Canucks over Hawks in 6

Part 2 of the Kesler-Sundin Man-Love Series:

EDIT: In honor of my second-to-last exam, Canadian Cities, here's a seriously fetch track from Point Blank

because when it comes down to it, poker is really more of a sport than basketball

For any poker fans among our huge fan base, check out my buddy Jack's poker blog. Enjoy reading about him making money while the rest of us resort to sifting through his loose change on his desk whenever he leaves the house. Metaphorically..

In honor of hoping Sundin is ready to go for game one, here's Part One of my dedication to the touching man-love between him and Kesler. How do you say "dip my bald head in oil" in Swedish?

Why the NBA may have lost its most viable franchise

The Canucks have got me pumped. Seriously. Not "The Province planning the parade route" pumped, but pumped. I have no shame in saying I'd totally go gay for Burr.

On a serious note, the NHL seems to be finally listening to relocation requests and getting the Coyotes the balls out of Phoenix. Personally, this team needs to go to Vegas. Sure, the loyal fan support wouldn't be as high as a truly viable franchise somewhere else, but the expensive seats would get sold out every night by casinos looking to comp the tickets. More people would show up then, say, Atlanta, and don't tell me the players wouldn't love to play there. Plus, the ensuing drunken debauchery when Dion Phaneuf takes off his pants and runs around in Bellagio Fountains? You can't buy that publicity. The NBA and NFL denounce it, but they thrive off of dumb players making dumb mistakes. Personalities sell tickets.

Finally, relating to the soon-to-be-not-Phoenix Coyotes, I do respect the NHL giving teams a chance to succeed. Dallas is a good example of a non-traditional market that has remained strong. The real problem I have with the Grizzlies move is that the NBA (read: Michael Hiesley) moved the team after only 6 seasons. The fans never got a chance to support a real team. The NBA denied the Grizzlies and the Raptors the chance to draft in the top 5, unheard of for expansion teams. The Grizzlies win totals read: 15, 14, 19, 8 (lockout shortened season), 22, and 23. How was any momentum for support expected to be generated?

Moving a franchise that young says two things: management is losing money and doesn't see potential for growth. The potential for growth, however, may have been the biggest in NBA history, if we play a big game of "what if". If the franchise doesn't move in 2001, it is unlikely the team would have undergone the overhaul (Abdur-Rahim for future ROY Gasol, Williams for Bibby, etc) it did when it moved to Memphis. Most likely, this team would have been another top 5 lottery pick waiting to happen. (Even with the overhaul, Memphis still finished with 23 wins.) The 1st pick of the 2002 Draft was Yao Ming. With the doubts surrounding Yao Ming's eligibility, many teams were unsure that the first pick overall (which Yao's agent group demanded) was worth it. (All this information is from highly credible sources.) Say the Vancouver Grizzlies were in the top 5 picks in the draft. With a large Asian population, and the chance to make a splash to their fan base, tell me they wouldn't throw everything but the kitchen sink at Houston to trade up and get Yao. The Houston Rockets have captured the imagination of Chinese basketball fans. With the close connection between China, Hong Kong, and Vancouver, and the dense Asian population in Vancouver, the Grizzlies may have been one of the most popular franchises in the league, both within the city and internationally. A franchise can certainly be considered successful if it draws an estimated 250 million television viewers, like the Yao-Yi matchup did in late 2007. Houston, without Yao, would still be a successful franchise financially; Vancouver, and now the failing Memphis Grizzlies were not. By not giving Vancouver a chance, the NBA has potentially lost its most viable franchise.

Picture of the week:

Fan-demonium

What the fuck has happened to sports fans? 

Here are a few of the things they've done recently:

• Booed Montreal (in Montreal) when the Habs were down by a goal with 5 minutes to go in the third in a must-have game against Boston (game 3)
  
• Attempted to steal Alexei Kovalev's stick during a game, here
• In Denver, one threw a beer on the court at the end of a game that had the Nuggets winning by almost 30
• In LA, chanted, "We want tacos" at the end of a blowout win for the Lakers against Utah in the first game of the series... and then BOOED when Utah managed to get to 100 points, even though LA was still good for the 13 point win

This type of behaviour isn't new (see: booing the American national anthem) but it has gotten worse recently. What's to blame? Higher ticket costs leading to increased fan expectations? General recession-caused angst? The media's portrayal of professional athletes as spoiled hoodlums unworthy of our respect?

Whatever it is, fans, in the immortal words of Rapper Willy, need to "step the fuck up - no excuses", and stop being such mindless fucking goonies.

Priceless

sick jordan commercial

Sports Heaven vs Exam Hell

Exams kind of forced me to forget about the blog for a bit there but the answer to the April Fools' multiple choice question was.... bum ba da bummm bummmm: 

#3- Michael Heisley is the single most evil person ever to have lived on the planet Earth is FALSE

Are you people kidding me? Michael Heisley is not the SINGLE most EVIL person on Earth, he is (obviously) in a dead-heat tie with this guy.

Now I'm a little late on the playoff predictions but here goes anyway...

-Lakers are taking down the NBA Finals over the Cavs

-San Jose is not winning the Stanley Cup

-The Cup winner will be Detroit, Vancouver, Boston or Pittsburgh

-My heart of hearts says it's going to be Vancouver FTW

Wave those towels!

john wooden, champion ncaa basketball coach for UCLA, addresses success and winning through a poem by george moriarty

the road ahead or the road behind - george moriarty

sometimes i think the fates must grin
as we denounce them and insist the only reason we can't win,
is the fates themselves that miss.

yet there lives on the ancient claim
we win or lose within ourselves.
The shining trophies on our shelves
can never win tomorrow's game.
You and I know deeper down,
there's always a chance to win the crown.
But when we fail to give our best,
we simply haven't met the test
of giving all and saving none
until the game is really won.
of showing what is meant by grit.
of playing through when others quit.
of playing through not letting up.
It's bearing down that wins the cup.
Of dreaming there's a goal ahead.
of hoping when our dreams are dead.
of praying when our hopes have fled.
yet losing, not afraid to fall,
if bravely, we have given all,
for no one can ask more of a man
than giving all within his span

giving all, it seems to me, is not so far from victory.

and so the fates are seldom wrong,
no matter how they twist and wind,
it's you and i who make our fates -
we open up or close the gates on the road ahead or the road behind

And the hockey gods said "yea, let there be some freaking sick matchups"

Boston vs Montreal. Rangers vs Capitals. Penguins vs. Flyers. Anaheim vs. San Jose. Calgary getting pwned by the Hawks. Canucks vs anybody. I'm more pumped than Mike Heisley at his annual Soul-Crusher convention.

PS The Grizz drew a reported 10,000 fans the other night to the game against Portland. This probably translates to about half that, since the NBA (and the NHL unfortunately) inflate their numbers: many season ticket holders or corporate boxes don't get filled at unpopular games, but are included, along with any ticket giveaways. Note to professional sports: if your sport doesn't involve throwing a football-shaped ball, Tennessee may be a poor choice.

Also, I just found a new favorite human being. This guy.

April 1st

One of the following is an April Fool's joke:

1) The Charlotte Bobcats swept the season series with the Lakers

2) Anthony Randolph is the REAL rookie of the year

3) Michael Heisley is the single most evil person ever to have lived on the planet Earth

4) Kobe Bryant got outplayed by Gerald Wallace last night

Answer will be posted next week.

In the meantime here's a little good Canadian hip hop: Shad (this isn't the joke)