I'll level with you: it hasn't been the kind of start we expected when Sam and I first started writing a blog. We figured if we gave it a couple months, the money and women would be rolling in soon enough. Turns out our expectations on the whole sex/drugs/rock and roll aspect of writing on a blog once a month were a tad high.
I'm not sure Sam checks the blog anymore, and sometimes I feel like I'm writing for my own personal benefit. So here's my experiment: I'm going to lay down something that's been on my chest for awhile - the most overrated fruits and vegetables - and see how long Sam takes to mention it to me. I put the over-under at 3 weeks, right around exam time. Good luck!
3. Cauliflower - It's tasteless, colorless, and it's consistency is downright unappealing. It's the tofu of the vegetable kingdom. As far as I'm concerned, the fact that this "food" is still on the market is a sign that it's overrated.
2. Bananas - Let me make it clear: I am a huge fan of the banana. I eat a banana a day at least. But the whole hype over this disease that's supposed to wipe it out is overblown. I really don't care enough to get pumped up for some Save The Banana! campaign. We've got scientists and they seem pretty smart: if they can whip up an H1N1 vaccine in a couple months I'm sure they can get their shit together over a piece of fruit. And if not, I'll just eat more apples. And banana-cream flavored puddings. No sweat.
1. Oranges - Don't get me wrong: I'm a huge fan of mandarins, clementines, and the whole juice thing but a regular orange? Pass. It's way too much effort to prepare and eat to make it a viable snack and it's taste doesn't match anything outside of very specific breakfasts. Yet this fruit has its own popular saying (apples and oranges, matched with the powerhouse apple no less), its own linguistic claim to fame (big whoop, it doesn't rhyme with anything) its own joke (a knock-knock joke, which doesn't count for shit), and is served at halftime at kids' soccer games worldwide. You want to help your team out? Stop cutting up little orange slices and give us Gatorade. Fuck the orange.
Well, my awards predictions never really materialized, which saved me from the embarrasment of praising Hodgson (sent to juniors) and Filatov (1 goal in 8 games) as the Calder frontrunners. Pierre LeBrun was not so lucky, and actually changed his prediction of Hodgson a week or so into the season (it now reads van Riemsdyk...I wonder if Hradek is thinking of changing his Calder pick too.) Now, however, we're a month in, and my preseason predictions are already jumbled. Last year it took a few months to figure out if Boston was for real, so leave it to the HCP to sort things out and see if these standings surprises are flukes or for real.
Colorado: 1st in the West, 1st in the league. Two teams in the league now stand at 10 wins. Pittsburgh was no stretch, but the Avs? A team that was likely ranked no higher than 13th on most preseason predictions? This team is now 5 points clear of number 2 in the conference, and owes its success to two things: health and goaltending. A healthy Stastny has given the Avs top line some offensive pop, while Craig Anderson has been out of this world. I loved the signing over the summer, but no one could have predicted it would be this successful so far. Their rookies O'Reilly and Duchene have looked great, and Quincy has been valuable after the Smyth trade, with 8 points and a +6 thus far. Will they end up finishing on top of the West? No. But if the team stays healthy and continue to get solid goaltending, the Avs can do what no analyst could have predicted: compete for a low playoff spot.
Call: FOR REAL
Los Angeles: 2nd in the West. You don't have to look too far down past the Avs to find the Kings. Their young stars are blossoming and Kopitar, who the Canucks should have taken in 2005, is a top 5 goal scorer. I still think Quick isn't good enough to keep this team on top, but they'll stay competitive and be in the playoff picture all year.
Call: FOR REAL
Phoenix: 7th in the West. The team everyone thought would be playing shinny with the Avs by December is right up there. Firing Wayne Gretzky and hiring Dave Tippet was an excellent move, if classlessly excecuted. But relying on an aging Jovocop and Aucoin to be in their top 3 scorers and lead the team to the playoffs isn't likely
Call: FLUKE
Detroit: 12th in the West. It's Detroit. They can't rely on Osgood to waltz into a division championship anymore, but they'll be top 5 by the end of the year. Also, they've had to play the powerhouse Avs twice already.
Call: FLUKE
Canucks: 10th in the West. They've looked better after a slow start, and Lou was starting to round into shape before he cracked his ribs against the Leafs (no, not from laughing his way to the Leafs' 8th straigh Getzlaf t loss). Hopefully his injury, as well as the other half of the forward core, will heal up and this team will get back on track.
Call: FLUKE
Anaheim: 14th in the West. I refuse to believe this team is not a playoff contender. Their goaltending has been awful; Hiller and Giguere are much better than this. Hopefully, for the Ducks as well as Team Canada, that sports hernia surgery he had over the summer hasn't gone wrong.
Call: FLUKE
Ottawa: 6th in the East. Mike Fisher at a point per game? Volchenckov has gone down with an injury, and Kovalev has done little else but stand around and take shots on the power play. Chris Phillips has more points than Cheechoo. Don't get your hopes up.
Call: FLUKE
Buffalo: 3rd in the East. Miller is red hot, and Myers looks like a stud (these are endearing hockey terms, no need for further interpretation). And Vanek hasn't even turned it on yet. But can Connolly stay healthy? Can a team with only a couple recognizable names beat out the Bruins once they get healthy?
Call: FLUKE
Toronto: 15th in the East. Saving the best for last. Watching the Laffs drop 8 straight as a Canadian hockey fan outside of the GTA is very satisfying indeed. But the team is still getting used to each other, and the Monster has the potential for at least solid goaltending. I still don't agree with the Kessel trade, but the Leafs won't finish last with him in the lineup. And even if they do, they lose a top 5 pick for a 21 year old who already has a 36 goal season under his belt. If they finish last the year after that, however...
Call: As much as I hate to say it, the Leafs are better than this. FLUKE
And remember, its only 10 games in. As James Duthie says, do try and avoid premature evaluation. It can be very embarrassing.
As for the East, in extremely played out, lame cliques/puns:
15. New York Islanders - Deserted Island. They're building a few good pieces, but there are so very many holes. This team needs another few years. Tavares prediction: 26 goals, 23 assists.
14. Florida Panthers - Cat-astrophe. Honestly, I didn't think Florida was a bottom 2 team in the East, but I had trouble finding teams to put them ahead of, and it just kind of happened. Like the Isles, they have a gem in Booth, but losing Bouwmeester and replacing him with Brodeur's water boy proves this team isn't committed to winning. Their temporary GM is still temporary three months later. That speaks loudly to the trouble this franchise is in.
13. Ottawa Senators - Sens-ationally disappointing. In my earlier predictions, I told you how I, well, disagreed with some of the moves Bryan Murray has made. The fact that Chris Kelly is making 2.125 million over the next 3 years alone should be enough to get canned. Getting fleeced on the Heatley deal hardly changes my mind. For a team whose moves aren't influenced by cheap owners or poor fan support, Murray remains the worst GM in hockey today.
12. Tampa Bay Lightning - Can Lighting Strike Twice? They bolstered their defense by adding eight or nine defensemen. Loading up on free agents worked so well last year, why not give Ohlund 7 years? The team, however, has some young talent and will be competitive in another year or two.
11. Atlanta Thrashers - Surprise Thrashing. Seriously, how do sports reporters in Atlanta do it? There are literally no clever puns with Atlanta's name, except to use it as an adjective. Oh right, they don't report on the Thrashers. In all seriousness, I wanted to put this team higher, but it got edged by a few other bubble teams. If rookie goaltender Pavelec, who's drawing a lot of buzz out of camp, can shine, this team might slip into the 8th spot. The Thrashers are deeper on defense and will make a push at the deadline to show Kovalchuk that this team is headed in the right direction. They'll be close this year, and they'll get a deal done.
10. Toronto Maple Leafs - The Leafs are Blowing. No, the Leafs are no longer the laughingstock of the league (laugh at Komisarek. He dares you.), but they'll still be out of the hunt again this year. The Leafs will be tougher to play against than last year, but not necessarily a whole lot better. Kessel doesn't have a legitimate set-up man, and unfortunately for Burke, hockey games are determined by goals, not Gordie Howe hat tricks.
9. Buffalo Sabres - Buffal-oh so close. Poor Buffalo. Their team used to have such promise and now they're treading water. They keep their core but refuse to add the missing pieces that allow them to take that next step. They've finished 10th twice in a row, and they'll be right on the bubble again this year.
8. Montreal Canadiens - The Habs-nots. I haven't met one person here in Montreal yet that's happy with the Canadiens' moves this offseason, and I don't blame them. Rebuilding though free agency doesn't work. Just ask the Rangers. However, they have enough young pieces (and will get a bounce-back year from Price) to make it to late April.
7. NY Rangers - New York Minute. This is Gaborik's projected time in a Rangers uniform before he blows out his groin/knee/vagina. If he doesn't, however, the Rangers will have a stud on their hands. Lundqvist will need to stand tall to get them into the playoffs, while Redden needs to remember how to play professional hockey, perhaps sometime in the next 5 years that are left on his contract.
6. New Jersey Devils - Boring as Hell. The Devils had some promise for excitement with Parise and other young talent, but the addition of Lemaire assures them a playoff berth and a lot of empty seats.
5. Eye of the Staal-m. A bit of a stretch here. Think Boston accent. But the Hurricanes are as good as the face of their franchise takes them. The team has talent and experience, but is it enough to seriously compete, especially with the loss of two puck-moving blueliners in Seidenburg and Babchuk? Staal-my seas ahead, indeed.
4. High Flyers with a Re-Emery-gence. Two for the price of one! Someone's on a roll. Philly is many analysts pick for the Cup, but like Chicago, the issue is in net. They'll be a very good team without 2007 Emery, and a serious Cup contender with him. Either way, they'll finish close to the top of the conference.
3. March of the Penguins. A classic, used at least 15 times by ESPN during their playoff run. They're probably the best team in their conference, if not in the league, but they'll be in tough against Philly and the rest of (most of) their competitive division this year. Also, the Stanley Cup hangover is a real phenomenon. Although, as the Leafs continue to prove, so is the April golf tournament hangover.
2. Washington Capitals - Net Capital Growth. Varlamov so far has been streaky at best (and Theodore is, well, Theodore), and the D may still be too thin for a Cup run but Ovechkin, Backstrom, Green, Semin (79 points in 62 games last year...look out) and the rest will keep this team at the top of the conference.
1. Is something Bruin? They'll be at the top of the Conference thanks to a weak divison and solid team. But Kessel is out and Savard still needs a deal for next year. How far can Thomas flop his way towards a Cup with that kind of offense?
Western Final: Detroit vs. Vancouver. Dark horse: the latest hot pick of analysts everywhere, the Blackhawks could make it if their goaltending holds up.
Eastern Final: Washington vs. Pittsburgh. Somewhere (probably somewhere in Phoenix), Gary Bettman just had a wet dream. If the stars and matchups align, these two teams should be playing each other for the Prince of Wales Trophy. Dark horse: the Flyers. Even with Emery, never count out a team with that much toughness and skill.
The Cup Finals: Vancouver vs. Pittsburgh. The Canucks have the defensive depth, the star goaltending, and a pool of gritty forwards. Their problem? Scoring depth. The Pens have superstars up front, a solid defensive corps, and a goalie who could (should) make the Canadian Olympic team. They also have been there before. Maybe when Hodgson (pronounced Hod-son apparently) or Shirokov develop, the Canucks can make the leap, but for now, the cup remains in Pittsburgh.
Cup Winners: the Pens. Again. Crosby better shake hands this time. Rypien is a lot tougher to fight than, say, Brett McLean. Award winners will come tomorrow or Friday.
Aaand the countdown is on. The Canucks are 5-0-0 in the preseason, which means only one thing: only 1 week until the new Gossip Girl season premiere! Just kidding. Sort of. Also, the NHL season is set to start begin October 1st. A few days after July 1st, once the free agent frenzy had subsided and the post-season depression finally began to kick in, the HCP released its Early, Useless, Unpredictable Predictions for 09-10 season. Now, we're pleased to bring you the Slightly Less Early but No Less Useless Predictions! Starting today, the West, in the form of sometimes slightly dated pop culture references.
15. Phoenix Coyotes - The Star Wars kid. Just sad..so sad. Here's to hoping Hamilton has a bright future. (However, if Phoenix had as many views as this video, they wouldn't be in this mess to begin with. In other news, I am personally responsible for at least half of these views.)
14. Colorado Avalanche - Vincent Chase after Medellin. This team had it all: the money, the fans, the Forsbergs and Sakics. And now its a team destined for the bottom, losing its fans and its financial support and lost the face of the franchise in Sakic. At least its committed to a rebuild. Just beware of Germans.
13. Nashville Predators - Kevin Federline. Totally irrelevent, somehow mildly newsworthy for a while, and we all would be happier if they just disappeared. Their defense got weaker, but still has rocks in Suter and Weber, while their goaltending looks solid too. But that's about it. Their highlight of the last few years: This. (It's Taylor, for those of you who haven't met my future wife.)
12. Los Angeles - Miley Cyrus. Tantalizingly close, but still too freaking young. Maybe next year. I still think they have a little more development before they can take the leap. Many experts are making the Kings their sleeper pick and they could make the leap, but their goaltending and defense is still too weak and young to compete in the West.
11. Oilers - Friendster. Remember when Friendster was cool? (Apparently, it still somehow exists!) Too bad no one would be caught dead on it anymore, right Heatley? The Oilers storied franchise is no longer a place where anyone wants to play or live, and its shown through its lack of ability to attract real talent. Gagner and Cogliano will have better years, but this team isn't deep or skilled enough to compete in the West. And don't even get me started on a 4-year deal for a 36 year old Bulin Wall who had a decent season in a contract year with a blossoming defensive corps.
10. Minnesota Wild - Matthew McConaughey. Untalented, often painful to watch, yet still wildly popular. (Also in consideration: Krusty the Clown) They made some good moves on D, but are ultimately treading water, replacing Gaborik with Gaborik-lite: slightly less injury-prone, slightly less good. This team doesn't need a retooling: it needs a rebuild around Burns and Koivu. By signing Havlat, they secured themselves as a playoff bubble team for years to come. (To find a picture to capture my emotion, I googled "Happiest Man in the World," and found a picture of a man giving himself head. I think I'll move on.)
9. St. Louis Blues - Butters from South Park. Lovable, slightly pathetic, and always finding a way to get the short end of the stick. They got rocked by injuries last year, and still found a way to sneak into the playoffs, where they promptly got sent packing in four games. This year they'll be healthier and a year older, but there isn't enough room for them in the West playoffs.
8. Columbus Blue Jackets - There Will Be Blood. I really didn't like this movie at all, but I watched it for Daniel Day Lewis' performance. This is Nash and the Blue Jackets. The Jackets still have enough to get in - provided Mason doesn't pull a Price - but they don't have much of a shot. However, if you look at their possible first round matchup...
7. Dallas Stars - Righteous Kill. De Niro. Pacino. Together! In a movie! Too bad it sucked. That pretty much summed up the Stars last year: hyped as a Cup contender, and played themselves out of it early. They'll have a bounce back year with a better (surely) Turco and a healthy Richards and Morrow.
6. Calgary Flames - The Girl Next Door. Just kidding Elisha! Seriously though, the top 6 spots in the West are a virtual lock, but ordering them is the hard part. Calgary gets dropped to 6 for one reason: depth. Sure, they have a top line (well, two thirds of one), but who comes after Iggy and Jokinen? Sure, their top 3 may be the best in league, but Sarich is a big drop off. Who's backing up Kipper so he doesn't burn himself out after 76 games? And here's hoping Fleury makes the team.
5. Anaheim Ducks - Mad Men. Apparently it's awesome. Or so I hear. This is the show that I and others always keep meaning to watch, but never do. The Ducks have trouble selling out the Honda Center for playoff games, but have been one of the most entertaining success stories of the past few years. They got dropped to make room for Chicago, but the Ducks have the offense and goaltending to get them far. Their biggest weakness is on the backend, but Scott Neidermayer's continued awesomeness will be enough to hold them together.
4. Chicago Blackhawks - John and Kate plus 8. Turmoil!Cheating! Lots of kids! Maybe I was too harsh on them in my previous rankings. For all their shittiness in Huet, whose latest strategy is trying to disguise himself as Khabibulin, and despite the injury to Hossa, their offense and defense are both absolutely dirty. But won't be enough to overtake the Wings...this year. And no, I didn't take any cheap shots at Patrick Kane. The poor kids already taken enough of a beating. No, wait, that was the cab driver. Hey-oh!
3. Detroit Red Wings - Michael Bay's films. Even though the new Transformer movie drew comparisons to "watching a blender for two hours while somebody shouts at you," it still became one of the highest grossing movies of all time. And so it is with the Wings: no matter the players, the coaches or the low expectations, they always will find a way to win. However, unlike Bay's films, the Wings are both talented and watchable. Even with the loss of key pieces in Hossa, Hudler and depth in Kopecky and Chelios (seen here in a file photo), the Wings still have a lineup to compete for top spot in the West. So why are they third? Their division. With 6 games against Chicago, along with tough competition in St. Louis and Columbus, the Wings will still have enough to come out on top, but not enough to overtake the next team. You know what's coming.
2. Vancouver Canucks - The Land of Chocolate. They're just plain awesome. And no, it's not a homer pick (okay, maybe a little). But the Canucks' shoddy divisional rivals will allow them to overtake the Wings for second in the Conference. Also, they are awesome. Life is good. Can I get a Gillis for President chant anyone? This team finally seems like it has the right mix to make something happen. Not since 30 seconds before this moment have I been so excited.
1. San Jose - Phil Mickelson at the US Open. While it might be a stretch to use a sports reference for a sports reference, come on! Hit to the back of the freaking green already!! Getting Heatley for a 12-goal scorer in Cheechoo (playing with Thornton or Marleau no less) and a streaky Czech should assure that the Sharks again take down the conference. The playoffs? Good luck with that, Thornton.
Coming later this week: the picks of the East, Cup, and awards. ONE MORE WEEK BABY!!
According to the Mesoamerican Long Count Calander, and then furthered by the legend of pop culture, our world is set to end in 2012 (December 21st, to be precise, so forget the stress of Christmas shopping!). Doomsday predictors are super-duper sure this time, after getting it wrong in 2007, 2004, 2001-1997, 1994-1986, and dating back to about 44 AD. For many, however, the end of the world may come as a welcome relief after a trying 2011. All 4 major sports' Collective Bargaining Agreements end following their 2011 seasons, and all are facing serious issues to get things resolved.
NFL: If a deal isn't struck by the end of the 2010 season, the 2011 season will restrict its free agency rules (which hurts the players) and will eliminate the salary cap (which will hurt the owners.) It was designed as an impetus to make a deal early, and still may do that, but if the 2011 season is played without a salary cap, it may seriously jeopardize the 2012 season. The Players Union would be very reluctant to go back to a cap system after a capless one, and there are many other thorny issues as well - including the debate over restricting rookie contracts and the future of non-guaranteed contracts- to work out.
Possibility of Strike: Moderate. There have been many issues within the league for years, but its constant growth and seemingly endless pockets have kept both sides happy. Now that there is less of a share, there may be problems. However, both sides understand what a lucrative business they are in, and neither wants to kill the proverbial golden-egg-laying goose.
MLB: The only sports league without a cap may be the league in most need of a lockout by the owners. While the league itself still somehow grows, the have-nots of the league are getting fed up with actions like the John Smoltz release this week. While the success last year of the Tampa Bay Rays may set a trend for prospect development, the fact is that the big market clubs still run the show. Players, meanwhile, aren't complaining. Recession? What recession?
Possibility of Strike: High. The recession has exacerbated the haves and the have-nots, and many owners will be ready to help their franchises future success by turning out the lights today.
NBA:
Possibility of Strike: I hope so. Sam will update this section because I really couldn't care less.
NHL: No hockey fan will forget the bitter 2004-05 season that wasn't. Hockey lost millions of fans and still is recovering from the season that was sacrificed in the name of a salary cap. This time around, the big issues include Olympic involvement, the future of long-term deals, and a possible league-wide pay cut (the players accepted a 24% pay cut out of the lockout) or cancellation of long term contracts already in place. But this isn't about redrafting a CBA; it's about perfecting the one in place.
Possibility of Strike: Slim. The league and the players know that they can't put the game through another lockout, especially now that the game finally seems to be on the rise. (They made the ESPN.com front page at least three or four times this year!) Their differences will be ironed out.
When do most strikes happen? During a boom when the pot is big and everyone wants their fair share, or during a recession where the pot is small and everyone is left fighting over dwindling resources? The NHL strike arose out of the latter situation, where the league lost $273 million in 2003 and owners felt a salary cap was the only way to curb high costs and ensure parity. The 1998-99 NBA strike, on the other hand, was experiencing its highest ratings and revenue ever thanks to Jordan (the 98 Finals generated a whopping 18.7 ratings share, compare that the highest ratings in 36 years that the NHL got during Game 7 this year: 4.3). So while economic climate is not a deciding factor in bargaining negotiation, it will be interesting to see how it affects it.
Time will tell, but there's a good chance one or more leagues may be on strike come 2012, and for good reason; owners and players will need all the money they can get to build mountain-high walls around their houses.
1. Boston - Still the best team in the East - for now. The B's benefit from a very mediocre division, but the situation around Kessel and his 36 goals he brings will determine what kind of team this is next year.
2. Washington - Nice pickup of Knuble, but the question is around their goaltending. Varlamov looked solid at times, and shaky at others, but their awesome talent up front and development on the blueline will keep this team elite.
3. Pittsburgh - Losing Gill and Scuderi will hurt (alright, maybe not Gill), but McKee was a good pickup, and their young team keeps getting better. Their tough division will keep them out of the top 2 spots.
4. Philadelphia - They may have sold the future to get him, but Pronger is a great fit for the reincarnation of the Broad Street Bullies. Perhaps Ryan Kesler should sit out this game. If this team can avoid getting too undisciplined, they'll challenge the Pens for the division.
5. Carolina Hurricanes - About the same as last year.
6. New York Rangers - About the same as last year, plus Gaborik. If he stays healthy, he could top 100 points.
7. New Jersey - Lemaire and New Jersey are such a great fit. Finally, the league re-condenses its most boring pieces back into one organization. Zack Parise must be thrilled about the possibility of a 70 point season.
8. Montreal - I didn't give the Canadiens' FA signings very favorable reviews, but they still have a quality second line in the Kostitsyn brothers, Markov on the back end, and I'm convinced that Carey Price will limit himself to one cigarette at a time and have a bounce-back year. If this team finds some chemistry amid their fantasy-draft style team, they could be a solid playoff team.
9. Atlanta - I'm going big on this one. The Thrashers actually have a very solid top 4 defensemen in Bogosian, Enstrom, Kubina and Hainsey, and have some scorers in Little, Kozlov, Todd White (owner of the quietest 73 point season ever) and of course, Kovalchuk. If they get some solid goaltending out of Lehtonen or top prospect Pavelec, this team could contend for a playoff spot.
10. Buffalo - This team has talent, but refuses to make the next steps to become a contender. They've finished 10th the last two years. Make it 3.
11. Toronto - Terry Frei thinks Toronto is a playoff team. In other news, Terry Frei should not be writing for ESPN. How many goals is Jason Blake expected to score? According to this thread, quite a bit. Quite a good read; I smell some challenges for Frei's job. Oh, and don't forget about losing Antropov up front, along with one of their five assistant captains in Dominic Moore. In all seriousness, I believe it was Ken Holland who once said that if you're going to spend a lot of money on free agent defensemen, you better be sure they can score. Beauchemin (in 07-08, his last full year) and Komisarek (08-09) combined for 4 goals. But hey, what does this Holland character know anyways?
12. Florida - This team chose a unique strategy and used an interim, part-time GM for one of the most crucial periods in their short (not short enough, for many) history. They lost their franchise cornerstone in Bouwmeester, and replaced him with a rent-a-player and a 3rd round pick. This team has a good young coach and a few pieces of talent, but time would be better spent drawing up relocation plans than drawing 10,000 people per game. Hint: when trying to market the team, perhaps picking one of the most hated men involved in professional football (a sport a few seem to care about down there) was not a wise choice.
13. Ottawa - This team might get better depending on how the Heatley situation unfolds, but while "Mad" Mike Milbury earned his nickname and takes the cake for the worst asset-management in recent NHL history, Bryan Murray is a close second.. What other team has been in such turmoil just 2 years (!) after making it to the Cup Final? He chose Redden over Chara, then let Redden walk for nothing, traded away a 1st round pick in a rebuilding year for Comrie, a UFA, just committed $8 million over the next 4 years for a 10 point thug, and can't even trade a 2-time 50 goal scorer and Canadian Olympic lock Dany Heatley. This team recovered from the Daigle era to become a respectable team, and Murray has let it fall back into a joke of an organization.
14. Tampa Bay - Unfortunately, they probably won't lose their top 5 pick to the Canucks for tampering, but a top 5 pick it will be. This team is building pieces, but expect a playoff team come 2010-11.
15. New York Islanders - Slow and steady. Kansas City will have a great looking team in a couple years.
Here at the HCP we like to get a jump on our competition, the so-called "legitimate" sports websites. Therefore, at risk of falling behind, I'm unveiling my predictions for the 09-10 year, in order of conference finish a mere 14 weeks before the start of the year. To account for perhaps jumping the gun a little early, I'll also go through each teams to-do lists. Ill post again during training camp, after teams have actually assembled their complete rosters.
Today: The West
1. San Jose Sharks - With the retention of all their core players and ridding their team of one of its most notorious douchebags, unless the Sharks still plan on a big roster shakeup, this team is set to regain Joe Thornton's prize of choice, the Presidents Trophy.
To Do: It looks like Shark's GM Doug Wilson is pretty content with his roster as it stands, and will give it one more shot at making the third round before blowing it up. Needs to add some depth after the departure of Goc, Plihal, and others.
2. Detroit Red Wings - No, it's not Chicago time yet. Even with the loss of a lot of key depth players, the Wings have enough prospects and good management that they'll survive, even with a stronger division.
To Do: Recruit their army of Swedish scouts to find some third-line guys that will put no doubt put up 60-70 points.
3. Vancity Canucks - Call me a homer, but this team has the same makeup as the team that won the division last year after losing Luongo for 2 months. If Cody Hodgson is half of the godsend we all expect him to be, this could be a team to beat. If anyone wants to help me work on my statue of Gillis, please apply below.
To Do: Add a puck moving defenseman, sign Luongo and Kesler to extensions.
4. Anaheim Ducks - I've been totally blown away with their new GM Bob Murray. He has shed salary and turned a semi-rebuild (trading key pieces from his Cup run like Pronger and Kunitz) and somehow made his team stronger. After standing 4 minutes away from the Conference Finals last year, they now have Perry-Getzlaf-Ryan and Selanne-Koivu-Lupul, to go along with Neidermayer, Whitney, and Wisniewski on the back end (not to mention Hiller and Giguere in net). This is a very dangerous team.
To-Do: One more defenseman.
5. Calgary Flames - Even though everyone's sold on the Flames as Cup contenders (just like analysts handed them the Cup last year after adding Leopold and Jokinen at the deadline), I'm not convinced. As I laid out in an earlier post, Sutter has too much money tied up in too many players. Curtis "One Win" McElhinny will again give way to Kiprusoff 75+ times during the season, which has ended in first round exits 4 years in a row. And after losing 39 goals in Cammalleri, who's going to make up for all those goals? Iginla? Olli "Leukemia" Jokinen?
To-Do: Free up some room (Sarich?) and get another top-6 forward
6. Chicago Blackhawks - Like Calgary, I'm not sold on the Hawks, mainly because 1) they're already 2 million over the cap, without a full roster, and 2) they're relying on an unmovable contract named Huet in net. Don't forget this team lost their starting goalie to free-agency, and are replacing him with a goalie who was inconsistent. This team is wicked up front and on the back end, but something has got to give, especially with Toews, Kane, Keith, and Ladd up for new contracts next year. That means valuable secondary guys like Barker and Sharp are out the door. And did I mention they have Huet in net? Sorry Hossa, these Hawks aren't Cup contenders yet.
To-Do: Get under the cap without losing key pieces.
7. Dallas Stars - They were too injured, were too inconsistant, and started playing well too late. Expect a bounceback year by Turco, and along with a healthy Richards and Morrow, this team should be back in the playoffs.
To-Do: Another puck-moving d-man to replace Zubov's production, and fire last year's team doctor.
8. Columbus Blue Jackets - I really struggled between my 8 and 9 picks, and I think it'll come down to the wire. Steve Mason won't have the same type of year he had last year, but under Hitchcock he'll still put up great stats. Nash has found his home, and the team around him with Vermette, Huselius..and...Hitchcock as a coach, they'll make it back into the playoffs.
To Do: Defensemen? Maybe? I don't really care enough about many of these lower teams.
9. I hate putting St. Louis out, especially with Erik Johnson coming back this year, but I realized that after watching a series featuring the Blues, I am still unable to name most of their players. Kariya is fading fast, and Chris Mason doesn't strike fear into the heart of even the puck-shooting machine. They'll be close, but take a step back.
10. Edmonton Oilers - These next three teams were pretty tough to rank. The Oilers get the nod with their ability to move the puck on the back end, good coaching, and bounce-back years from Sam Gagner and Andrew Cogliano. Provided he's on the team. What happens if they trade for Heatley?
11. Minnesota Wild - They could come back and prove me wrong by finishing in the 10 spot, but for all its promise and seemingly smart managerial hirings, this team is worse than last year. Maybe new GM Chuck Fletcher overestimated the amount of free agents who would love living in Fargo-like conditions, but outside of getting an injury-prone, inconsistent sniper to replace an injury prone, consistent sniper, I don't see much. They lost Lemaire's boring, Center-Ice-package-canceling system that hid their - how can I put this lightly - lack of talent. Another year out of the playoffs, another 10th-14th draft pick. Beautiful.
12. Nashville Predators - Outside of a truly sick (I believe that's the word the kids are using these days) defensive core, and Pekka Rinne) this team doesn't have much offense. I would put them lower, but Trotz and company always seem to do better then expected. So I'm going to expect them to do better.
13. Los Angeles - This team is so unpredictable. Is this the year everything comes together and they make a playoff run? Getting Ryan Smyth says they're trying. I'll give them one more year on account of poor goaltending and too much youth, but I might be very wrong.
14. Phoenix Coyotes - How does a team that doesn't have an owner sign off on free agents? Coyotes management has no idea either, and so they left this team to rely on its youth and save the team money. Vodka, anyone?
15. Colorado Avalanche - How sweet it is to have this team at the bottom of conference. They'll be here for another year after this as well. Hopefully next year's draft class is weak.
What I learned during this article: I don't know shit when it comes to spelling players names. I apologize to any current NHL players reading this blog whose names I misspelled.
Reason Number 382 I hate basketball: This song
I'm not sure what's worse, attempting to rhyme "grinding" with "lounging," or the verse where every rhyme is either "dude" or "too" (too is pronounced in a Proposition-Joe-from-the-Wire-esque Baltimore accent).
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